BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES EVER

7. Naughty Nurse

6. First Time Drag Queen

5. Ironic Costume

4. Angel with Black Wings

3. Joker

2. Edward Cullen, with unwashed hair)

1. Zombie

Climax Of The Hour is offering cash for some unoriginal costume here.

The Worst Made Up Words/Internet Memes

1. Procacity

2. Sexting

3. Tweeting

4. Teh

5. O RLY?

6. kthxbye

Though some credit the meme phenomenon solely to the internet, we all know where the general rape of the human language originated. No, not Animal House.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buuffyyyy!

Fat Girls Tries to Sell Virginity

Maggie Trent, second year college student, approached several large news sites for coverage. Rebuffed, she turns to Craigslist for their welcoming arms.

"Most people want it for free." Maggie complained, "I know that Natalie Dylan chick got nearly 4 million for hers. I'm just looking for rent."

Several hits on her blog, 242poundstolove.com, came back as supportive.
'You go mama! show that skinny nothing what a real woman can get!'
'Charge twice as much cause there's twice to love!'
'I have $50!'

But Maggie said she is discouraged by the elitist tone that people are taking about this. "When it's fresh and new, it's funny. When it's a less than 'picture perfect' girl, they think it's desperate. I mean, I could have given it away, like, a dozen times over."

So You Think You Can Depants

Woman saves herself trouble of getting pregnant for fame, and takes the road already established celebrities do; flashed her goods at the camera. A contestant on So You Think You Can Dance wore a white dress that complimented her dark skin, and, apparently, to prove the carpet did indeed match the curtains.

FOX claims they couldn't censor it in time. Right, FOX.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/09/30/so-you-think-you-can-dance-flash-nigel-lythgoe/

My Meeting with Tim Gunn

Brooke, the unhappy SAHM
Guest Writer

When I first met Tim Gunn, I was not impressed. He hovered around my celebrity friend with a faintly raised eyebrow and a snoot full of condescension. She was ushered into the store's office and given a private meeting while us peons sat out in the main area, browsing clothing I would eat before I wore, for these prices.
They all came out, my friend beaming, Tim wearing his most dour expression. On the way out, he fell in step with me. He glanced over at me, and spoke.
"You know, I'm going to have to include a picture of that luggage."
Confused, I looked at my hands, which were holding nothing.
"Not *that*. Those." I looked at my knee high, fur-lined boots, which I had thought looked good with snug jeans tucked into them. I still did! He went on to say that I did good in choosing the boot-cut style of jeans, as it gives the sense of proportion with such curves, but the boots really did ruin the symmetry, and they had to go. I think he was complimenting my butt. I'm not sure.
He pointed out several items as we walked by; a DKNY white shirt with half-bell sleeves, and a timeless trench that would fall 'just right above the ankle. I had no idea why they would have looked good on me, but I would have mortgaged my house for those outfits right then.
As we reached the door, I realized something. I love Tim Gunn. He was suddenly beautiful to me, with his neat little suits, droopy, beautiful eyes and his tilted low glasses. Dapper, smarmy little man that he was, I was horrified that I was never going to see him again! Where was I going to learn which social occasiona I can wear dark jeans for, and who was going to encourage me to try a flouncy top with skinny jeans. I watched him go, silently crying out, but knowing that I had nothing to keep him.
Don't forget me, Tim.

Emo Thinks Country Music is Depressing

Thorn the Emo
Guest Writer

Man, this is damn depressing. So I'm YouTubing "Best I've Ever Had" to look for the screamo remake, and accidentally clicked on some guy named Gary Allan. It was country! I was like, WTF? What does country know about anything? Aren't all their songs about trucks and rodeos and crap? So I start clicking on the related videos on the right.
Holy crap. There's songs like I'm Already There, about some dude who, like, is the whispers in his family's hair or something. Then there's 'She Misses Him on Sunday the Most' and 'Who You'd Be'. All about dead people. I mean, they don't dress in black or scream, but they're really obsessed with death. They should get those people some help.
I had to go to a funeral last month for my great Aunt Janey, and you know what they were playing?
That's right, country.
Sick, man. Real sick.

Pregnant Woman Pregnant Again

Julie Grovenburg, in the way of Octomom and Jon and Kate, proves that childbirth can get you your fifteen minutes of fame. Her claim to stardom? The fact she is pregnant with another child 2 and a half weeks AFTER she was already pregnant.

Let's not forget the 19 pound baby born to an Indonesian woman. Not actually rare, but it is wince-worthy. Pay your girlfriend back for all her groin-smashing jokes and send her that article.

Here are the next once thought medically impossible pregnancies to strive for. You know, if that's all you're good for.

1. Pregnant by THREE different fathers.

2. Virgin birth.

3. Siamese triplets.

4. Have Michael Jackson's baby.

5. Sex change, then get pregnant. (Wait...)


So ladies, start bed-hopping! Well, now for something other than raising your self-esteem!