Brilliant speechwriter and master debater Yuu Ti is taking out time from his busy schedule of penning earth shattering essays and published briefs to answer the questions of the common man, or woman.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090503044216AAvppFg
Congratulations Yuu Ti, for your insight and generous contribution to society.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Gays and Troops
In a recent poll done by Time magazine, 89% of people thought it was more important to support gays than the troops.
Every day they're out there, fighting for our rights as people. God bless the gays.
Angie, TX
Today I saw two men proclaiming their freedom, right on the streets. I didn't see the troops doing anything. I say come out of the foxhole, soldiers, and show your pride in who you are!
Jessie, CO
Nobody loses a limb fighting for gay rights. This must mean we're doing something right. Gay marriage, now that's a war I can get behind.
Sammy, LA
Approval ratings show that the positive, uplifting battle against the government appeals more to society today than nasty guns and 'do ruining helmets. The public wants a tangible subject to undermine the policies with, and the troops themselves are not comedy fodder. Ted Black, a local comedian, reported that he made a joke about the men serving in Iraq, and the audience died right then. "It was really demoralizing for me." he stated after the show.
The yellow magnetic ribbons are still outselling the rainbow phallus decals, but Glen of Heaven Sent us, an alternative lifestyle store, hopes that they'll catch on soon. "We definitely need the funds," Glen confided on Thursday, "ever since Will & Grace, our standard of living has shot way up. I can barely afford to fight for my rights and support Gary after he lost his last job because of 'improper conduct'. Damn homophobes."
The acceptance for labels denigrating gay men are at an all time low, while war protest's popularity is rivaled only by the Vietnam War. There are currently 3,563 parades held in the honor of gays annually, and the numbers are climbing.
"My kids love the free candy, and the costumes are always fun. It's better than a circus." Holly, a mother of 3 reports. She's been to every parade around her city, even showed a picture of her daughter resting on the shoulders of a shirtless fireman.
Colonel Sergeant Hatton only asked us to vacate his recruitment office, saying "Please don't return. And take your scarf with you." It was a boa. What a dick.
Every day they're out there, fighting for our rights as people. God bless the gays.
Angie, TX
Today I saw two men proclaiming their freedom, right on the streets. I didn't see the troops doing anything. I say come out of the foxhole, soldiers, and show your pride in who you are!
Jessie, CO
Nobody loses a limb fighting for gay rights. This must mean we're doing something right. Gay marriage, now that's a war I can get behind.
Sammy, LA
Approval ratings show that the positive, uplifting battle against the government appeals more to society today than nasty guns and 'do ruining helmets. The public wants a tangible subject to undermine the policies with, and the troops themselves are not comedy fodder. Ted Black, a local comedian, reported that he made a joke about the men serving in Iraq, and the audience died right then. "It was really demoralizing for me." he stated after the show.
The yellow magnetic ribbons are still outselling the rainbow phallus decals, but Glen of Heaven Sent us, an alternative lifestyle store, hopes that they'll catch on soon. "We definitely need the funds," Glen confided on Thursday, "ever since Will & Grace, our standard of living has shot way up. I can barely afford to fight for my rights and support Gary after he lost his last job because of 'improper conduct'. Damn homophobes."
The acceptance for labels denigrating gay men are at an all time low, while war protest's popularity is rivaled only by the Vietnam War. There are currently 3,563 parades held in the honor of gays annually, and the numbers are climbing.
"My kids love the free candy, and the costumes are always fun. It's better than a circus." Holly, a mother of 3 reports. She's been to every parade around her city, even showed a picture of her daughter resting on the shoulders of a shirtless fireman.
Colonel Sergeant Hatton only asked us to vacate his recruitment office, saying "Please don't return. And take your scarf with you." It was a boa. What a dick.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
How To Keep Your Readers Happy
1. Write a post in your blog stating that all of your readers who don’t like your book “hate thinking”.
2. Write a full length novel, charge full price, and only write in fifteen minutes of real time in it.
3. Insert quasi-bestiality into the story regularly, and insist it is erotic and pushing boundaries.
4. Keep a daily blog about your hardships, whine about critics in there.
5. Then state you never read them anyway.
6. Marry your teenage fan club president. Hey, he’s legal now!
7. Make every one in the book love your character, and anyone who doesn’t is actually insane.
2. Write a full length novel, charge full price, and only write in fifteen minutes of real time in it.
3. Insert quasi-bestiality into the story regularly, and insist it is erotic and pushing boundaries.
4. Keep a daily blog about your hardships, whine about critics in there.
5. Then state you never read them anyway.
6. Marry your teenage fan club president. Hey, he’s legal now!
7. Make every one in the book love your character, and anyone who doesn’t is actually insane.
Friday, May 1, 2009
What should I ask ChaCha?
1. What that unmarked pill is in your parents’ cabinet.
2. If your Guide can talk dirty to you.
3. What households items are good for simulating sex.
4. If Adam is gay.
5. What kind of underwear your Guide is wearing.
6. If Rob Schneider pay Mexicans from Home Depot to choke him while he masturbates.
7. Is ChaCha free?
8. If I have unlimited texting, does ChaCha charge then?
9. Seriously, you guys charge me, don’t you?
10. How much is this bill running me?!
11.You sadistic bastards, I have children to feed!
2. If your Guide can talk dirty to you.
3. What households items are good for simulating sex.
4. If Adam is gay.
5. What kind of underwear your Guide is wearing.
6. If Rob Schneider pay Mexicans from Home Depot to choke him while he masturbates.
7. Is ChaCha free?
8. If I have unlimited texting, does ChaCha charge then?
9. Seriously, you guys charge me, don’t you?
10. How much is this bill running me?!
11.You sadistic bastards, I have children to feed!
If You Get Arrested
1. Confess you’ve never had handcuffs on, but you find it strangely erotic.
2. Slip out of your handcuffs, ask the cop if he can put them on slower this time.
3. Maybe tell you you've been a naughty girl while doing so.
4. Ask if spanking considered police brutality?
5. Inquire if they allow jewelry in the force, such as...wedding rings.
6. Not married, are you? Are you gay?
7. I was just asking! God, how far do they shove that mic in your ear?
8. Ask the booking policeman if they can email you your arrest picture.
9. Mention to the man taking your fingerprints that scuba gear really doesn't leave fibers at a crime screen.
10. Ask your cell mate what they're in for.
11. Tell them you shanked a bitch.
12. Wink at the gangbangers in the cells on the other side.
13. Text while you're waiting for them to finish up the paperwork.
14. Giggle.
2. Slip out of your handcuffs, ask the cop if he can put them on slower this time.
3. Maybe tell you you've been a naughty girl while doing so.
4. Ask if spanking considered police brutality?
5. Inquire if they allow jewelry in the force, such as...wedding rings.
6. Not married, are you? Are you gay?
7. I was just asking! God, how far do they shove that mic in your ear?
8. Ask the booking policeman if they can email you your arrest picture.
9. Mention to the man taking your fingerprints that scuba gear really doesn't leave fibers at a crime screen.
10. Ask your cell mate what they're in for.
11. Tell them you shanked a bitch.
12. Wink at the gangbangers in the cells on the other side.
13. Text while you're waiting for them to finish up the paperwork.
14. Giggle.
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