Gays and Troops

In a recent poll done by Time magazine, 89% of people thought it was more important to support gays than the troops.

Every day they're out there, fighting for our rights as people. God bless the gays.
Angie, TX

Today I saw two men proclaiming their freedom, right on the streets. I didn't see the troops doing anything. I say come out of the foxhole, soldiers, and show your pride in who you are!
Jessie, CO

Nobody loses a limb fighting for gay rights. This must mean we're doing something right. Gay marriage, now that's a war I can get behind.
Sammy, LA

Approval ratings show that the positive, uplifting battle against the government appeals more to society today than nasty guns and 'do ruining helmets. The public wants a tangible subject to undermine the policies with, and the troops themselves are not comedy fodder. Ted Black, a local comedian, reported that he made a joke about the men serving in Iraq, and the audience died right then. "It was really demoralizing for me." he stated after the show.

The yellow magnetic ribbons are still outselling the rainbow phallus decals, but Glen of Heaven Sent us, an alternative lifestyle store, hopes that they'll catch on soon. "We definitely need the funds," Glen confided on Thursday, "ever since Will & Grace, our standard of living has shot way up. I can barely afford to fight for my rights and support Gary after he lost his last job because of 'improper conduct'. Damn homophobes."

The acceptance for labels denigrating gay men are at an all time low, while war protest's popularity is rivaled only by the Vietnam War. There are currently 3,563 parades held in the honor of gays annually, and the numbers are climbing.
"My kids love the free candy, and the costumes are always fun. It's better than a circus." Holly, a mother of 3 reports. She's been to every parade around her city, even showed a picture of her daughter resting on the shoulders of a shirtless fireman.
Colonel Sergeant Hatton only asked us to vacate his recruitment office, saying "Please don't return. And take your scarf with you." It was a boa. What a dick.